Friday, 29 June 2018

Millennial Romance

Since my break-up, I've definitely not gone out of my way to get back into the dating game. I've never actively looked for a relationship, and I don't intend to start. Although I'd love to be in a happy, comfortable relationship again, I would rather it came out the blue than was a result of me scrolling through dating apps or trying to ask guys out left, right and centre. Also, have I mentioned that I'm a bit fussy? I don't find people I'd be interested in dating very often. 

Although the Tinder and other general dating app game isn't up my street, I couldn't knock it entirely. One of my friends met her boyfriend of a year over Tinder, and I know of lots of other success stories from other bloggers. A lot of my friends are on it, but there are some people out there who continously knock it because imagine telling your kids you met on Tinder.

Like? Who gives a fuck?

I often see Tweets and hear people talk about how 'weird' or 'unsavoury' it is to admit that you met your partner on Tinder, but I'm not sure I really see the problem with it. Worse yet, these people often romanticise their grandparents' generation, talking about how much better it was in the 1950's. I can't help but gawp in them in complete confusion at this. I can't imagine thinking dating in the 1950's was better - imagine being in a world that was openly racist, homophobic and sexist? Imagine being expected to be a stay at home mum with no life of your own but to raise a man's children for him? Imagine not being able to get an abortion legally? Imagine if you could only divorce your spouse if they cheated on you, but not if they beat you or you simply fell out of love?

Although many of these issues are still relevant today, my point still stands. My generation gets a lot of stick for Tinder, social media, or our openness with our sexuality and the fact that we're pretty OK with getting our kit off for photos or potential partners. But I'd rather be in a generation that judged less, was more socially and politically aware, and was more transparent about the lives they lived than be stuck in the 1950's at home with a bundle of screaming brats and a husband that was secretly out banging his secretary. 

Just sayin'. 

I really wish we'd stop romanticising the older generations and their lives. As that popular meme online says, 'we still have racism and milkshakes'. 

Meeting someone online or via dating app is really nothing to be ashamed of, and for some people, it's their only viable option to meet somebody. A divorced middle-aged woman who doesn't go out drinking frequently is hardly going to meet Mr Right by bumping into him at the shops, but she might be able to dig out a few potential matches - in amongst the less than desirables - by having a nosey at nearby men online. 

I think most guys I've met has been through work or friends of friends. If it wasn't for the fact that I worked in a retail environment where there's a lot of change over with people coming and going constantly, and if I wasn't able to make friends with these people - and thus, maybe be introduced to possible matches to myself - then I'd likely give internet and app dating a much closer look. But as it stands, I do prefer to meet someone in person, by getting to know them via working together or because they are close to someone I'm close to. I think for me, it's all about that sense of safety and trust. Although there have been people who've fallen through the cracks in that they've turned out to be absolute dickheads despite being highly spoken of, I am much more comfortable at the thought of getting a feel for someone in a low-pressure work place than I am just chatting to anyone online and hoping for the best.

But I have nothing against Tinder, or other dating apps and sites. If it works for you, that's amazing! I just don't think I'll ever really be that person who can meet people that way.

Have you used dating apps/sites? What's your experience of them?

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