Friday, 25 May 2018

My First Tattoo | Contemplating a Cover-Up


I got my first tattoo when I was 19 years old - older than quite a lot of people seem to be when getting inked for the first time, but I was never one for doing things when I didn't meet the legal age requirement, and TBH I didn't really know if I was ever going to get a tattoo. It was a big decision, but one that I don't really remember making. All I remember is one day whilst in town with my mum - who has always encouraged and been supportive of my tattoo getting, even if she isn't 100% behind the design herself (although this is rare!) - and we went in to Studio XIII and I enquired about getting my first tattoo, knowing exactly what I wanted, and instead of going away and thinking about it, I got it done then and there.

Back when I first started getting inked, I was more in love with words than images. Nowadays, I've grown and learned the importance that pictures can hold, and I know that tattoos don't always have to be up front. As long as I know what they mean to me, that's all that matters.

I don't remember feeling massively anxious about getting tattooed, just a bit nervous - the same level that I am going under the needle even now. It was over in about twenty minutes and barely hurt at all. Most of what I felt was the vibrations as the needle got closer to my spine.

I did an entire video a few years ago deidcated solely my first tattoo, but stupidly I deleted all my old content instead of just sticking it on private when I purged my YouTube at the start of last year. Although I still have the video, I figured that I'd share my tattoo in this post and talk about it now given that I'm thinking about having it covered up.

WHAT IS MY FIRST TATTOO?

My first tattoo was done on my lower-back, and is incredibly simple. I had 'Destroy what destroys you.' tattooed in a type-writer style font, and it's something that I've really loved up until the last year or so. I got the tattoo because I was in some of the darkest depths of my depression and had that kind of cynical-ass attitude about everyone around me and everyone I met. Anyone who pushed me, I'd push back. Anyone who'd hurt me, I'd want to hurt back. I was defensive of myself by being as prickly as a cactus, whereas now I'm defensive of myself by being much quicker in eliminating the toxic and the damaging. 

The type-writer font was an easy choice - I chose it because I'm a writer, and I always have been. So it seemed significfant to have this kind of font tattooed. 

If you want to see the tattoo and hear me explain my thoughts in more depth, watch here. Weird how just a year ago I never thought about a cover-up for this!

WHY A COVER-UP?

I honestly never thought I'd get this tattoo covered-up. Emotionally, I'm heavily attached to it. Not just because it was my first taste of getting inked, but because it's such a huge part of me and my past. I might not be that person anymore, but I was once and it does somewhat serve as a gentle reminder of how far I've come. I don't associate it with bad things, and as I mentioned, I didn't think I'd contemplate a cover-up, but as I've grown in the last year, and even with my break-up, I've realised I'm not that person anymore, and although it's a friendly reminder of what I've achieved, I feel like it's time to start over and consider getting something tattooed over it to match my new beginning. 

A lot in my life is changing, and has been changing over the last 9 months with my break-up being just one of those things, and I guess, as I mentioned, it just feels like time.

IDEAS

Here's where I'm stumped - my tattoo is on my lower back and is to one side, so I'm completely useless trying to think up ideas that don't a) expand across my whole back or b) expand across my lower back, as I don't want either of these at the moment. I'd prefer something small - but I feel like it'll look super random just having a picture on my lower right back? I feel like ruling all these big tattoos out leaves me pretty limited, but right now, I'm not ready for that kind of commitment and I don't know if I really want any larger back tattoos as I prefer at the moment of having no tattoos here. I have a lot of ideas, but nothing I want to cover this one up. So now I'm going to turn it to you - although I doubt anyone will answer - what kind of things do you think would work to cover this tattoo up?

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up? How did you decide what you wanted?

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