Wednesday, 12 July 2017

How Do I Find Balance?

personal lifestyle how to find balance in life

Balance has never been something I've been very good at. I'm someone who does a lot of one thing, or likes a lot of one thing, or consumes a lot of one thing, and I don't do/like/consume much else apart from that. It's something that I have known my entire life - that I'm somewhat obsessive in nature, going through phases of doing, liking and consuming one certain thing - but something I've never been able to put a name on or really grasp up until the last few weeks. Now that I know it, I can work on it. But I'm not sure how to do this. 

I'm somebody who eats too much chocolate and not enough veg, I'm somebody who blogs constantly or not enough to the point that I only have 2 posts and 2 days of Tweets scheduled. I'm somebody who spends all their time with somebody or no time at all for months. I'm somebody who enjoys a certain song until it gets boring and then I often won't listen to it again until a fair amount of time has passed. I'm someone who reads 24/7 or just doesn't pick up a book for weeks.

You get the idea of what I mean, right? It doesn't matter what the thing, the subject, is. The fact is, I can't balance things well at all. I've known our entire relationship that I spend almost all my free time with Jack, and I find it hard to pass up time with him to spend with friends. In the same way, I enjoy spending my time, when I'm not with Jack, by myself. So I find it hard to pass this up too. 

I try to plan, I make to-do lists all the time which help me to figure out what I need to get done for my blog or channel etc, but they aren't helpful when I'm trying to balance up my time between reading, seeing friends, doing blog work, and hitting the gym. I'm someone who likes routine but I find a routine so rigid that it would affect most days of my life, very hard to stick to. I'm a person wants to do what they wanna do, when they wanna do it. 

I know. I'm a little bit reckless and turbulent, despite craving organisation and wanting to feel like I have my shit together. It's a bit of a headfuck, as I feel like a fragment of a chaotic mess everyday. Feelings, thoughts - everything will pull me into different directions. Everything overwhelms me. I want to start feeling a little bit together by going back to the gym, watching what I'm eating (not dieting, just not eating so much junk food and more healthier foods), and trying to strike a balance between my hobbies, my friends, my down-time, my family and my partner. 

The question is: how do people do it? I love to be busy, whether I'm alone or out with friends. I love heading out to meet people, and I enjoy making sure I have a lot of work to do at home, like a long video to edit, photos to work on or a handful of blog posts to write. But how do I balance these tasks with everyday life? How do I stay motivated? How do I make sure I'm splitting my time fairly evenly? I say fairly because I prioritise time with Jack (given how little time we get off together) and working on my blog the most amongst everything else.

I don't know what this post is other than a bit of a ramble and a small plea for help. How do you balance life? There are so many aspects and it's only in the last few years I've had to commit to a handful of friends, a boyfriend, work, several hobbies and family. I've spent so much time out of work and with all the time in the world, time where I never had anybody to really prioritise and friends who understood I didn't feel like hanging out (and still do understand this, but I don't have this problem so much), so now this change of pace is something I don't know how to keep up with and how to work out.

Tell me your secrets! How do you find some sort of balance in life?


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